I'm 33 for moment

I have struggled with the last few days of knowing, today I was turning 33, don't get me wrong..I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY(S) but this was hard. I thought I would be in a very different place in my life, on so many levels. I haven't reached my goals and dreams. I think of Brody, turning 15 yesterday. I think about his life and where he at and the amazing young man he is becoming. I think of all the time he has left at home and sharing each day with my family. I start to think about how of all the four boys, we have known him for each of his birthday.
I start to reflect about my life and where I was at 15 years. What happened during those years who my friends were, school, and plans for the future. That leads me to down the memory land of where I am at today. In a blink of an eye....it doesn't seem like that long. Just yesterday, I was 15 years old.
This morning, I was getting ready and a familiar song came on. I have heard and loved this song over the last few years. I started singing it.....I didn't realize what I was really singing. Each lyric rolled off my tongue. I sang..."I'm 33 for this moment" wait, I AM 33, right now, today, for this moment.
Five for Fighting
"100 Years"

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy,
Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you 15,
there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way every day's a new day...

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Time tics on by as if it meant something. Marking eternity is all; it is always right NOW, and in a moment it will be a new NOW. If you think there is only so much time to live then you are living in time. We are timeless and are only vacationing here believing we are this body and identity. It's a fun for a while, or it can be tragic sad story; choose whatever genre of film you like. Or perhaps you came here to pay a debt? An eye for an eye is the law, or will you choose to forgive and live in Grace? So many choices of what to believe in or better yet you can choose to believe in not believing. It's a predicament for sure. One thing I can tell you with complete confidence and abandonment. Love will open any door, it will guide your life in ways your mind cannot. If you like joy, then listen to Love and follow Love without fear. Open your heart even if it hurts, and threatens to destroy who you think you are. The worm cannot become a butterfly without transforming itself. Allow Love to have its way with you. If you think you are 15 then enjoy the ride. If you think you are 33 have fun. May as well enjoy, but if you try to wring every ounce of life out of life the warning sign is there to show you your fear of dying. No one really dies, but man what a drama; Wow how scary is the idea of not existing anymore? What would that be like to be erased? What can be even more scary is what if life just keeps going on? What will you do
then? Maybe you will want to take a vacation again.