In the middle of the ride

Adoption Gift

2011-01-03T20:58:00.000-08:00

This was a fast, cheap, & precious gift for my family. Walgreens had a coupon for a free 8 x10 collage print. I took some of the pictures that I had from "T" and his first year of life in our family. He had a very eventful first year of life in our family. I graduated, we went to the St. Louis Zoo/Arch, he had is 1st birthday, he became a Uncle, and the list goes on. We all love and adore him, he is a joy and I am so grateful God gave him to us.

I purchased a frame at Wal-Mart for $3 and released when got home it was matted for a 4 x 6. I just left the mat in the back of the frame.

I printed this for FREE at Walgreens.

Adoption Day

2010-12-10T19:56:00.000-08:00

Today my family adopted Travis Lorenzo! We are so excited to have him in our life. He came to my family at three days old as a foster child. There is now five boys that are a huge part of my heart, I can't imagine life without any of them. Travis is just the most adorable 13 month old boy ever, and yes I am biases. I wish I could have gone to be apart of the day, but a ten hour trip there and back would be much right now. I have already seen pics and heard about the day. I am so happy for my family that he is officially ours. God is so good.

48¢ Christmas Wreath

2010-12-01T10:01:00.000-08:00

I went to Goodwill Store to see if I could find any bargains. On my adventure, I found this cute Christmas wreath. I could not find the price tag, until I went to the register. After some searching we found it was marked for 96¢ (see it now? I moved it on the front for proof), however it was 1/2 off Christmas items so I paid 48¢ I might add a little something-something. Anyway, I had to share because I just love a great deal!

Pumpkin's (because that's how I roll).

2010-11-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

I saw similar pumpkins on a few different blogs a few months ago. The day went to get the things to make them, I shared the idea with my mom. She said that her ladies group also did them and they turned out great.

I did them before Halloween but I am just now getting around to posting this. You can find the directions here and believe it or not they are made with toilet paper rolls!

I found the brown charger plate on clearance at Target for $2 and the white doily's at the Dollar Tree for $1.

Hallelujah!

2010-11-30T20:53:00.000-08:00

I am back!

2010-11-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Well, I am back to the blog world. Life has been crazy to say the least. I am trying to use this outlit once again to say whatever, whenever, and to whomever is reading it. In this last year since my post God has shown me so much. I have learned a ton about women and babies, about loving the unloveable. Did I get it right, not every time, yet I am still learning and growing. My leadership is rising and my flesh is decreasing. I have witness a child being born into this world in April 2010, it was the most incredible thing ever.

Last year my family was blessed with a foster child who will be adopted very soon. He is a joy in my life along the many miles between us. I graduated from college in May! Whoot whoo it was one of the best days of my life. HANDS DOWN. I became a Aunt a few weeks ago, to Thomas James.

Life has been very good to me. I have had time on my hands and trying to be very productive with my creative side and trying to get things organized. I am also back working hard on getting healthy. I took a challenge on Facebook of a friend who is doing a 10 lb Holiday Weight Loss Challenge. So, as of three weeks I have lost 7 lbs. I am ALMOST there and it is not even Thanksgiving! I am pressing on. God is good ALL the time God is good.

It is "OK" to be single

2010-06-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation with a young 11 year old girl about my singleness. My family has two new foster girls living with them. Yesterday, was the first day that I was able to meet the girls. I went to surprise my family in MO. It was a short day trip for a family get together and I was in the glad I went! Later in the afternoon we were sitting around having some "girl time" and my cousin April was telling a story. When the story was done "H" asked my cousin if she was talking about her boyfriend, she said no that was her husband. Then "H" asked me if I had a boyfriend, I informed her "no, I did not have a boyfriend" she said "are you married" and I informed her "no, I am not married". She looked at me funny and said "it sure must be lonely" and I thought this would be a great teaching opportunity to share that you do not have to have a boyfriend or married. I begain to share with "H" that I was not lonely and started to tell her about my job and what I do, so I am single with a purpose. I could tell that she didnt seem to care...so I then told her that I was "ok" and she quickly told me that "you are not ok".

While I know that I am “ok” regardless of what an 11 year old who has known me for just a few hours thinks….it made me sad. I think of how young girls (and big girls) believe that a man will make someone not lonely. It is not that I do not desire to be with my soul-mate and best friend. I have and will continue to pray for him. I believe that God will answer the desires of my heart with that being one. Do I dream and think of my future husband, abso(stinking)lutely! Do I think of my perfect wedding day, oh yes! Just ask my mom or Josie with my random thoughts or ideas. When family or friends of mine get married or have babies, or remarried or have more babies.....and I wait for mine. I think of random Holidays and dream of my own family, etc etc. Yes, I am happy for them I am not bitter and pray that I will never become bitter about others...I would just not be honest if I did not say there is a little some thing it does to me.

I am just not going to settle for anyone but GOD’S PERFECT BEST and I refuse to do the leg work or take advantage of E-harmony free communication weekend. I am not going to switch to a new church or go to the bars like I was once give amazing advise...uggh. Nor am I thinking of being like Paul and being single forever...hello!

I believe when you are 100% complete and satisfied with who you are in Christ, is when you know you are not lonely. I know of many married people who are lonely and have each other. I had a friend one time explain to me that she understood my desires she said it is just like wanting a baby, new job, or other circumstances. We all have desires and being “single” doesn’t mean less or that God is not working on those prayers.

You see for me, it has been a journey. I have had my heart broken over and over again, because I selfishly believed in relationships that were not true or what they seemed to be. I gave my heart away so many times that I thought it would never be fixed or healed. However, it has been restored and for now it is reserved for the only man in my life, for now...

I am finally embracing my singleness. I am a part of a ministry that I would NOT get to be a part of in the role as a Housemother, if I were married. I do not feel my role will be forever but for now this is what God has called and set me apart for to do. I trust in the Lord as I serve Him. Today marks the 1 year anniversary that I said yes to full time ministry. The impact of being in full time ministry is a reminder that God will also restore broken dreams.

It is "ok" to be single, to dream, and have HOPE that God will answer prayers.

Being a mom (week one)!

2009-07-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

In my first week of being a house mom you could say that I am learning a lot! This first week has been busy week of getting unpacked, cleaning, organizing, already one trip (five hour) trip to the hospital and finding myself around this new town. I didn't know if I would be equipped since I haven't even had a baby or have been pregnant to understand and care for others. I think God has given me the ability to do what I am doing and surround me with the people who will help guide me. I am super excited and already believe that I am making a difference in my new home. I am grateful for this opportunity to be apart of something bigger than myself.

Next Chapter of My Life

2009-06-30T05:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since my last post, a few months really. SO, thank you Rachel for asking for an update on here, I know at least I have one blog follower.

I do want to share that while life is busy one of the things going on was I have had some major health issues (they have all been resolved) and so my focus has been on other things. I can honestly say that I think I have a clean bill of health now, from brain MRI to Steroid Shot to many cavities, including a wisdom tooth pulled to skin testing for allergies to seeing a podiatrist to well, the list goes on. In addition I have also had a major postive thing going on in my life including the next chapter of my life....

“A scientist puts 3 rats in a tub of water to see how long they could swim before they drowned. The rats treaded water for about 4 hours and two of them drowned. Before the third one went down, the scientist pulled him out, dried him off and gave him a few days to rest up. A week later he conducted the same experiment using the same rat and two new ones. Around the 4 hour mark, the two new ones succumbed to fatigue and drowned, but the other one kept swimming. And swimming. And swimming. He swam for 2 days! Hope is a powerful thing. No, the story isn’t pleasant, but the meaning behind it is. Deep in the depths of all of our Princess hearts, there lies HOPE. Even those who are cynical (Gene, are you reading?) still have hope lurking somewhere. Hope that someone, just one person will prove them wrong. It only takes a little encouragement to bring Hope alive again. I’ve found this out recently for myself. Just a few actions from another person brought hope (and love) flaring to life again, and that feeling is exhilarating. Faith, Hope and Love are the three strongest forces in the universe. Hope makes us dream bigger, hope keeps our hearts soft when things around us are too much to bear. Hope says don’t just look with your eyes, look with your heart.” Keeping a Princess Heart: In a Not so Fairy Tale World. Nicole Johnson

In the last few years I have been the swimming rat and I have held on to the hope that I am dreaming for big dreams. Specifically in this last year I was very open to wherever God has for me. In the last few years I was in a different place and for the first time in a very long time I was willing and trusting Him on my journey (even if that was back in ministry). Yes, at one time I told God NEVER again will I work in Ministry, oops had to revisit that one (and never say never to the big guy)! Along with this in the last few months I have been frustrated with my job (don't get me wrong I love my job but I did not feel that I am impacting people in the capacity I could). I was then reminded that life is short and it had me think about what am I doing with my life right now. I want to do a job that I am passionate about and LOVE. Well, God is the dream-maker and I am going to be embracing another chapter of my life this week. I am moving in just a few days to become a house-mom to unwed mothers at a Christian home. I am beyond excited and know that this job during this time is for me.

I can't wait for the next chapter of my life, so as I say goodbye to the town that I have known for nine years, I can't wait to see what God is going to do and how he is going to use me.

Bittersweet

2009-04-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

Well, today marks Broday turning 16years old, I honestly can't believe he is 16 years old. He said to me tonight "Sis can you believe it is my birthday?" It is hard to think this little boy is becoming a young man.

My birthday is tomorrow and the last few years have been hard for me. It is Bittersweet for me. I know that while I am passionate about having b-days....now my heart hurts often because just two years ago, my daddy died. It is hard to celebrate while a piece of my heart deeply is sadden by him not being here. It has been two years but it still hurts, and I wish he could see Brody turning 16 years old, Jamie getting married next month. I wish that Dad would call me or send me a one line email. I wish I could tell him how well i am doing. I made the Dean's List for the second time and I was so happy. I called home and Steve said, "Dad would be so proud". I honestly believe that in my heart, I know he would be so proud.

My prayer is above all that God will bring continued healing to me and my family. It has been a hard few years for my family. I am trusting God to bring us Hope as we trust in him.

Long time no blog!

2009-03-26T18:44:00.000-07:00

WOW it has been a long time. I haven't blogged since January. Just a lot of stuff going on with family, work, and school. I really have lacked in my photography project. I have taken a few pictures but it has been hard to balance every thing. I may try that again or in a different way...just right now life is busy for me.

Some other news, my friend Lacey and I started a new blog about our weight loss journey...come check it out, leave a note or just check us out!http://doublemuffintops.blogspot.com/

PS GO MU TIGERS....Final Four baby!

Downtown

2009-01-05T20:19:00.000-08:00

Downtown...where are the lights are at! I am sure this picture would be better had snow been on the ground. I thought it was a good picture.

Storage

2009-01-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

Old buildings and barns are one of my photography obsession. I found this one yesterday downtown. I think having the old building that have words are truly amazing. I am not sure why but I do. This one is an old storage building, as you can see.

Jesus Cares

2009-01-03T17:49:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken in town. It is attached to a building and is a reminder to me that when your family, friends, job, whatever your circumstances....Jesus will always Care about you.

Fire Place

2009-01-02T20:55:00.000-08:00

This picture is my non-working fireplace. I love the candles at it is absolutly beautiful lit up. I think it adds warmth to my apartment when they are burning.

The 365 Project

2009-01-01T13:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

One of the new challenges that I am working on is The 365 project, it wasn't my original idea. I am going to begin today to start this project. It will be good for me to explore this little passion of photography that I have. I hope to post pictures every day, we will see how that goes!

2008

2008-12-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

It is strange to think that this year is almost over and another one is just about to begin. As I reflect over this year it was over all a good year from me. God is constantly faithful to me and I am amazed at His constant love and grace for my life.

This year Alex turned 16 years old and Jamie got engaged. My family also had two little foster girls that join my family. They also had a baby sister that was placed for several weeks. The girls are now transitioning back to their biological parents. I can't imagine life without the girls however they will always have a special place in our family. I am so grateful for my family and the love that they have for me. I am so amazingly blessed.

My job continues to stay busy and we have lots of transitions right now. School has given me perspective with work related issues. I am grateful for the classes that have helped me understand work stuff. School this year was difficult and I was ready to quit! I was just overwhelmed with “life” and grateful for the staff at school who helped encouraged me to keep going. I am ready to graduate and grateful that it is just another step closer than last year.

I continued to get healthy and made so many changes to my new lifestyle changes. I was nominated by three of my co-workers for the Employee Wellness Program Award. I didn't win however it was awesome to be nominated and to know that I have impacted others for I ended up being the fifth place winner over all at our Biggest Loser at work. I also received a cash prize of $45 that was money pooled by the employees in the contest. I have found two amazing co-workers who were on my team. I am so appreciative of both these awesome women. We are doing this together and it helps to have a support system.

My girls from college spent one amazing weekend in the spring at a cabin in Indiana. It was very refreshing to getaway with the girls and we are already making plans for 2009 as our annual "Girls Weekend".
I helped my best friend, Josie get ready for a big Sweet Sixteen B-day party. Shawnee is a beautiful, amazing, fun girl. It was so much fun to spend the entire day with Josie and get ready. The overnighter was lot of teen drama but lots of fun!
I have also reconnected to old friends from Jr. High, High School and College. That has been amazing to hear where people are at now. I feel like I honestly have more friends than one could ever wish or dream for. I also met a few new friends this year and had a few dates. The dating has been fun/hard but it has been good to figure out how to be my true self with guys. I am starting to finally feel comfortable with myself and the confidence in myself, helps. Who know if love will find me or if I already found it? Only God knows and his timing is perfect.

This year ended with a big KICK OFF since I saw the Rockets. My Uncle took me and his granddaughters to the Fox Theater in St. Louis. This was my first time and what an experience. We had the owners tickets and it was awesome.

When I reflect on this past year I am ready for this year to end. It gives me hope for another year to begin. I think this year will be an adventure. Hopefully you will have the adventure of you life this year also! Happy New Year to you and your family.

Ghetto Gingerbread House

2008-12-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we had our annual Christmas aka “Holiday” party at work. We were all divided in teams and we had to decorate a Ginger Bread house. It was lots of fun and we were judged by Chef Ramsey (aka our Director). When all was said and done our team won FIRST PLACE! It was pretty funny because our team did a Ghetto Ginger Bread house. We even had an Eviction Notice on the front door. You know with the economy these days...even Gingerbread Men and Women are loosing their homes!

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T20:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve 2009

It is hard for me to think of not spending the evening with my family this year. It has been for the last 22 years that I have spent the evening with my Aunt & Uncle and family. We normally have dinner and exchange gifts. About this time my family heads to the United Methodist Church that I grew up in. It is an amazing candle light service and I some how always feel a little closer to my Grandma and Grandpa looking at the pew we sat in every Sunday. I miss them dearly. It was because of the weather I made a decision that took over an hour to stay home. I spent the day finishing wrapping, watching movies, and baking. I normally do not get to hang out in my PJ's all day long but today I did. The weather is suppose to be better tomorrow. I am headed out early as possible. I am excited to see my family and spend much needed time with them. Merry Christmas to you.

Grandma Fern

2008-11-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

November 3 is a day I always remember it would have been my grandma's birthday. This year for some reason I miss her very much, maybe because it has been a hard few years?!? I wish I could have just one more kiss, hug, or conversation with her. I sure wonder what she thinks of our crazy world and this big election tomorrow?!? I miss her very much and can rest assure that she is waiting for me in Heaven.

Trick or Treat?

2008-11-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

This year for Halloween I decided to dress up at work. I didn't dress up last year but felt like it this year. I did not want to spend any money on an outfit and was pretty proud that I came up with an 80's girl. I don't think it is bad for not planning until the night before. I could have spent money on makeup, the cheap kind but I just worked with what I had.
It was fun and I really didn't have much interaction with any children but a few. However, it was fun being a big kid.

I ended up going to lunch with a friend/co-worker to Panera. I received a lot of funny looks, I think to much of my dismay people thought that I actually dress like that (talk about funny)! Oh, well.

I had to run to the store today and I found a "Pet Halloween Accessory" and I just had to purchase this for my cats. I have two cats and have had them for 8 years, but try to not be boisterous about my love for my pets. I have the fear of being known for being the single crazy cat lady. I had a fun with Jeremiah and his new pet gear. He was extremely annoyed with me. Frankie would not keep it on long enough for me to take a picture. I guess for $2.49 it was worth the few minutes of a photo shoot with Jeremiah.
Happy Halloween and enjoy the pictures!

The like totally 80's girl.....

The Diva Jeremiah.....
I don't know about you, but I am pretty sure that he thinks this was a TRICK!

Kids are funny!

2008-10-25T11:39:00.001-07:00

I was back in Iowa a few months ago. Ellexa (I call her Lexie Lou) is an adorable little 3 year old foster sister and her along with her sisters...captured my heart. I think that this little girl did not just capture my heart but..stole it!Don't get me wrong I love my boys but girls are very different. Plus I love the toddler age...and hello, she wears PINK! :) Anyway, we were sitting in the living room and she walks up to the computer and says "I need to check my Facebook"....I looked at my mom and the boys and we all started laughing. I think she picks up just a little on what the boys say....what do you think?

Introducing Sweet Pea Designs

2008-10-25T10:46:00.001-07:00

I started this spring making cards for people. I have used some pictures that I have taken to incorporate with my cards. I have sold three cards at work and finally came up with a name, Sweet Pea Designs.

I love spending time being inspired. I have so many projects that I want to work on. I am always looking for great new ideas and love to find bargains for scrapbooking. I need to make more time for being creative..this is what fills me up. Enjoy and thanks for looking!

Along the road.....

Chuck was my goal!

2008-10-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

I have always been a fan of converse shoes. It started in Jr. High I had two pairs and wore them to death. I had another pair in High School and as an adult I had a pair but they were not the classic "Chucks". I had a goal that when I lost 35lbs I would get a new pair......and so ladies and gentlemen...the goal has been met and the shoes have been on my feet for a week now! I will continuing to loose weight and my goal is 20lbs by the end of the year and 30 by May 2009. I am finding that I am embracing these new life style changes and every day is a new day......it is one step at a time!

Apple Farm

2008-10-05T17:00:00.001-07:00

I took this picture in Iowa during a little family photo shoot. I love taking pictures and keep wanting to explore this area more and more. It really is one thing that fills me up. I found this quote and loved it so much that I had to include it on the pic.

Internet Fraud

2008-10-02T17:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't really think it could happen....but this week it happened to me. I am a victim of Internet fraud.

Monday: I had a Dr. appointment and went home sick after I was done. When I woke up I went to see if my professor emailed me back. I noticed that I received an email from Pay Pal stating that $100 had been deducted and transferred to another company. I thought at first it was a "spoof" email...but as I was on the phone with Pay Pal...I checked my bank. It was pending as a charge, I knew that I did not make the charge. [I had not been on Paypal since Friday, I opened my Pay Pal at work on Friday, but did not transfer any funds. I ran out of time and thought I would wait until over the weekend.] I was told to call the company, Penny Talk who deducted the money to work it out on my own. Of course they were closed! I called my bank and cancelled my debit card and changed all of my passwords. The bank told me that I had to wait until I posted to my account.

Tuesday: I called Pennytalk they were so helpful {enter sarcasm here}. They told me to call Pay Pal. I called Paypal, they told me to file a dispute (thanks, I could have done that the day before). i filed the dispute and while I was on the phone with PennyTalk I noticed that the charges were suppose to come out every month for $100. I was on the phone for 1 hour with both companies. I called my bank to see if it had posted...it had not.

Wednesday: The debt posted to my checking. I called Paypal and they were still waiting to here from Penny Talk. I had other charges deducted (that I made) and my account was starting to go in the RED, they were tacking on $35 over draft charges. I filed a dispute with Visa with my bank. I was given the advice to contact the local police department. I printed off all documentation and was at the station for an hour.

Thursday: My account is big time messed up!! I was waiting and waiting but I never heard any thing...so I called my bank again and asked for a letter stating what happened. I wanted to have that for my records. I was also told to contact the Attorney General. I have every intention to do that tomorrow. I have to contact the bank and police. I am glad that tomorrow is pay day!

Moving Foward

2008-09-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

In my so called "romance life" if you can even call it that, I often find myself in the end with a broken heart and trying to move forward. It is painful getting attached to people as I normally do. I can tell you in the past moving forward isn't as easy as people think it should have been for me. Until the last year, I think it is because for the first time in my life I see what God has in store for me. I have often felt that God may have heard my prayers but I need to attach my Social Security Number at the end of every prayer (uh, I am kidding). I finally made the decision to stop all communication with a former ex. It was extremely hard the first couple of months but he had moved on and was dating someone else.

I was just grateful he was not in the same town or state. I made the decision for my sanity to tell him that I was done and no more communication. He sort of respected my wishes, and finally left me alone. Weeks turned into months and I was starting to finally find freedom in the pain he caused. The lies he told me and the toxic web he left me in. Now, my part in it is that I knew he was a toxic man, but I wanted to be wanted. It was just like any other abusive relationship where you hear the women stay...because they love him. That was me, except now I know that I didn't love him....I loved the thought of him. I loved the idea of him.....as a different man. The man I knew he had potential to become is what I loved. He contacted me a few months ago and I decided to do something that the old me would have never done. I did not read his email in fact I deleted it before I read it.

I was so proud...and I felt that I for the first time was moving truly forward. I did email him a response to let him know that from the title that all of his belongings were donated to charity. I thought it had been over a year and I needed to use my space. It was kind of ironic that I got rid of his stuff and now he was looking for it all of the sudden. He responded to my email and I once again deleted it, the boy doesn't get boundaries. I am so grateful that I am moving forward. I pray that God continues to heal my past. I am reassured that He knows my future.

Out with the old, in with the new!

2008-07-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

My old Chair, had a cream-color slip cover...the chair was a hand me down. It was horribly uncomfortable.

My old "vintage couch" was from the youth group. I had a Baby-Blue Lazyboy couch, I think now I down graded! This couch was so long and soft but not cozy.

My new large comfy chair! It looks pretty amazing with my stuff.

My new matching couch! It even has a bed, for those out of town guest! It is very nice and can we say so much more comfy!!!

I have been wanting new furniture for a while now. The furniture that I had was so uncomfortable and was just getting me by. We have a thing at work where you can buy items from other employees. A girl had this for sale, so I went to look at it last week and the next day it was mine. My friend Lance helped me move my old stuff out and the new stuff in! I am really enjoying my furniture to say the least! All I can say is NO MORE SLIPCOVERS!

My Heart Smiled

2008-07-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

I received a message yesterday from Steve about Ellexa or as I call her Lexi Lou. When she woke up early yesterday morning she told Papa..."I want to go see my Brooke"....man she makes my heart smile. I love her deeply and the voice of a three year old can really make my day. I miss her too, and I wish I could go see my Lexi Lou.

It is well with my soul

2008-07-07T16:09:00.000-07:00

"It Is Well with My Soul" is the song that we sang together in worship at my Aunt Joyce's funeral...just a year ago. As I was traveling down to Jefferson City on that Tuesday I spent the afternoon in worship through singing and prayer. I came across one of my favorite hymns on my Shane and Shane CD. As I was driving I could not stop but listen to the lyrics and think of Aunt Joyce. My lips mouthed the song but I could not sing. I stopped and listen.

"It is well, it is well, with my soul" I was thinking of all the struggles and pain she has endured and now "It is Well" she is free. My eyes lifted and I started to look at the clouds about that time the song sang these lyrics "And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, the clouds be rolled back as a scroll; the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, even so, it is well with my soul." I was amazed that I found myself singing this song again at her funeral. It almost seemed like God was sending me a big hug. I tired to bellow out the song as hard as I could a few times I was choked up...but for the most part I wanted to sing the song from the depths of my heart. I know that she is dancing with the Angels. I know that there is no more pain for her. We were blessed to have the opportunity to have her in our lives. If you knew Joyce her smile could light up a room. Her gentle spirit could touch you. She was an amazing Godly woman who will always live in my heart as well as many others.

Who wants a clean house?

2008-07-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have been watching Clean House for about a year it is one of my favorite shows. It has inspired me to get rid of stuff! If you haven't seen Clean House...you gotta check it out!

In the words of Niecy Nash...."There is a whole lot of foolishness going on here!"..and so I clean.

My landlord was needing the spear closet in the hallway (I have used since I moved in, full of garage sale stuff). I haven't had a yard sale yet! I thought ok, spring time will come and it will be the time to dig out stuff. I started a few months ago..and it has been a project. I do not like living messy, and for months it has been messy...trying to get rid of stuff.

A few weeks ago on a Saturday morning I loaded up Josie's truck and went to the Mission here in town. It was great knowing that the profits would return to town.

It feels good to get rid of stuff. Nicey would be so proud....she would say "OOooooooohh That's what I'm talking about."

25 years together!

2008-06-19T13:36:00.000-07:00

May 19, 1983-Steve and Kay were married 25 years ago!

This is one amazing couple who love Christ and each other deeply. They are best friends and it is obvious. The journey in these 25 years have made them stronger together. I love them deeply and pray that God will bless me with a love like theirs....

Single Quotes

2008-06-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

I came across this list that I made a few years back and every once in a while will add to it. Oh the joys of singleness and people words of encouragment (??)....

"You are a Von Maur girl, don't settle for a Wal-mart guy" -Shelley Bauer

"You could have chocolate chip cookies. They are good don’t get me wrong. However, if you wait you could have the best. Triple fudge chocolate cake. You deserve only the best."-Michele Nelson

Don’t you like guys? – My Mother

"Have you thought about switching churches? (next) breath Well, how about going to the bars?"-My Mother

"Are you ALWAYS going to be single?"-Alexis Wiese,age 8.

"Don’t worry you’ll find someone Brooker. You know if you don’t you can always switch teams!"-Jenn Mortez

“I can hook you up with one of my guys.” –Steve Castaneda (Referring to the prisoners at work).
“So tell me why hasn’t some hot guy snatched you up yet?”-Randa Onion

"Any guy would be luckly to be with you"-Anthony Atkinson

Rainbow of Hope

2008-06-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken on May 15th after a conversation with my friend Angi about our former college classmate Steve Szoke. It was a hard conversation knowing that only time was what Steve had. I was trying to bring hope to my friend (and myself)after the conversation and I walked around the store in a fog, I started to have conversation with God. I asked God to show me that HE had a plan for Steve's life. That the impact of Steve's life would shine. That he was leaving behind a legacy for his wife and daughter and all those who once knew him. I wanted to be reassured that things would be ok. I walked out of the store, it had been raining and as I was looking at my car I saw this amazing large rainbow. I started to cry, standing in the road searching for a camera...I wanted to capture the moment. While I was looking for my camera I looked at this large rainbow, it took me a minute as I started to search for the ending of the rainbow (I always look for the ending of the rainbow). I could not find it and it took me a second to notice that it was a full rainbow. It was the largest rainbows I had ever seen. It was a split second that I felt that it was just God and me. I started to cry and then my tears became laughter. I felt God near. It was a reassurance that God does not leave His children and He will always keep his promises.

Steve and I were freshman in college and we both were forced to take basic classes together (you could call them the Short Bus Classes). It was in these classes we became friends. I will never forget the many talks we had and all the laughter we shared. I always thought he was so different, later I realized he was so original. Steve always seemed to care about me, it was great to have that support.

Steve and I lost contact and was reconnected two years ago through the wonderful world of MySpace. It was good to catch up and hear what where he was at in life.

It was an honor to have been a partner in prayer with Steve over the last year. He and his family helped plant a brand new church and then a few months after the launch Steve was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. It was encouraging to read his emails, to see the courage he had to fight, as months wore on he seemed to fight harder. His fighting shined as moments turned into hours, hours turned into days, and days turned into a couple of weeks. He was an amazing man of God and one of the strongest fighters that I have ever known. Today he would have celebrated his 33rd birthday...and I know that one day, we will see him again. In God's time...

Biggest Loser

2008-04-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

'Biggest Loser' contestant speaks at county wellness program event
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 10:55 PM CDT

By Paul Swiech

pswiech@pantagraph.com

BLOOMINGTON — Jerry Lisenby of Peoria was the oldest contestant in the history of “The Biggest Loser” when he competed on the hit NBC-TV program last year at age 62.

He also lost the most weight in a single week — 31 pounds.

But numbers aren’t what motivated him to begin his weight loss.

“I was worried that my grandkids would get away from me,” Lisenby told The Pantagraph before speaking Tuesday to about 55 McLean County employees at the Government Center in downtown Bloomington. “All of a sudden, I was watching my grandkids play instead of playing with them.”

Lisenby spoke as part of the county’s employee wellness program, said coordinator Jackie Lanier, a health department health promotions specialist.

Brooke Castaneda, a health department office support specialist who is participating in the wellness program, came up with the idea to have Lisenby speak.

“I’m a huge fan of ‘The Biggest Loser,’” said Castaneda, who made an unsuccessful attempt to be a contestant on the show two years ago. Having a Central Illinois person explain his success would help people to realize that weight loss and fitness are attainable, she said.

Lisenby, now 63, is a retired firefighter and retired hardware store owner who has been married for 42 years. A father and grandfather, he is an International Red Cross Disaster Relief Team member and a volunteer for several organizations in the Peoria area.

He had been physically active his entire life and weighed 216 pounds when he retired from the Peoria Fire Department in 1991. In recent years, he exercised less and ate more and was up to 300 pounds by January 2007.

His daughter, Megan, convinced him to try out for “The Biggest Loser.” Lisenby was chosen and lost 31 pounds during week one and 10 pounds during week two. He lost only 2 pounds during the third week when another contestant dropped Lisenby and he tore a muscle in his left thigh. He was voted off by the other contestants.

While Lisenby exercised eight to 10 hours a day on “The Biggest Loser,” he has continued to exercise and eat healthy and went down to 187 pounds. On Tuesday, he weighed 192 as he prepares for a cross-country bike ride that he and his wife begin May 1 to benefit Children’s Home in Peoria.

Lisenby exercises about 3½ hours a day at the YMCA in Peoria, doing the Stairmaster and crunches and lifting weights. He eats smaller portions and less red meat, eats half of what he’s served in restaurants, avoids salt and sugar, and focuses on fish, lean chicken and turkey, vegetables and fruits, oatmeal, water and skim milk.

“He’s inspiring and down to earth,” Castaneda said after Lisenby’s talk. Castaneda, 33, once weighed 331 pounds but is down to 289 by eating six small meals a day, focusing on vegetables and fruits, walking and working out at Curves. She wants to lose at least 100 pounds more.

“For the first time, I really feel like it’s doable.”

I miss you.

2008-04-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

IN LOVING MEMORY

PETE CASTANEDA

March 13, 1943~April 10, 2007

I miss and love you, always.

I'm 33 for moment

2008-04-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

I have struggled with the last few days of knowing, today I was turning 33, don't get me wrong..I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY(S) but this was hard. I thought I would be in a very different place in my life, on so many levels. I haven't reached my goals and dreams. I think of Brody, turning 15 yesterday. I think about his life and where he at and the amazing young man he is becoming. I think of all the time he has left at home and sharing each day with my family. I start to think about how of all the four boys, we have known him for each of his birthday.
I start to reflect about my life and where I was at 15 years. What happened during those years who my friends were, school, and plans for the future. That leads me to down the memory land of where I am at today. In a blink of an eye....it doesn't seem like that long. Just yesterday, I was 15 years old.
This morning, I was getting ready and a familiar song came on. I have heard and loved this song over the last few years. I started singing it.....I didn't realize what I was really singing. Each lyric rolled off my tongue. I sang..."I'm 33 for this moment" wait, I AM 33, right now, today, for this moment.
Five for Fighting
"100 Years"

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy,
Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you 15,
there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way every day's a new day...

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Time tics on by as if it meant something. Marking eternity is all; it is always right NOW, and in a moment it will be a new NOW. If you think there is only so much time to live then you are living in time. We are timeless and are only vacationing here believing we are this body and identity. It's a fun for a while, or it can be tragic sad story; choose whatever genre of film you like. Or perhaps you came here to pay a debt? An eye for an eye is the law, or will you choose to forgive and live in Grace? So many choices of what to believe in or better yet you can choose to believe in not believing. It's a predicament for sure. One thing I can tell you with complete confidence and abandonment. Love will open any door, it will guide your life in ways your mind cannot. If you like joy, then listen to Love and follow Love without fear. Open your heart even if it hurts, and threatens to destroy who you think you are. The worm cannot become a butterfly without transforming itself. Allow Love to have its way with you. If you think you are 15 then enjoy the ride. If you think you are 33 have fun. May as well enjoy, but if you try to wring every ounce of life out of life the warning sign is there to show you your fear of dying. No one really dies, but man what a drama; Wow how scary is the idea of not existing anymore? What would that be like to be erased? What can be even more scary is what if life just keeps going on? What will you do
then? Maybe you will want to take a vacation again.

Happy Birthday Brody!

2008-04-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

Brody,

Today is a very special day. It is your birthday. It is crazy that you are 15 years old! You have a very special place in my heart. You are the "baby" and we share our birthday with each other. You have grown (yes, you are taller than me..and EVERYONE in our family). I have loved that I get to be apart of your life. I have watch you grow up to a be an amazing young man. I can't wait to see you continue to mature in Christ and as a man. I love and cherish you, very much. May this year be a great year for you. Happy Birthday Tater-Tater! I love you

Death By Chocolate

2008-04-05T09:23:00.000-07:00

I had been craving peanut M & M's for a week. It could be that pms-ing thing, who knows? I wanted those silly little candies. I wanted what I wanted...and I wanted it NOW! I went to work out and then to the store. I ended up getting a bag at the check out. I got to the car and I was very hungry, I had just worked out, I was hungry for dinner. I tore up that bag and started to eat or inhale those tasty little treats. I felt guilty eating them so fast and not savoring them like I wanted to earlier in the day. I got home and felt sick......it was from the M&M's. Will I ever learn, don't deprive yourself but use moderation!!!

I had an idea.....

2008-04-02T17:37:00.000-07:00

We are doing the Biggest Loser at work, and I had this idea. Living very close to Peoria and being a fan of the show, I knew that we had former NBC Biggest contestants. I thought it would be cool if we were able to see if we could have either the family or Jerry come speak. I passed on my suggestion not knowing if it would happen....but it did!

Jerry Lisenby, former contestant on the TV show The Biggest Loser (season 4), has agreed to present to the Employees as part of our “Biggest Loser” weight loss challenge going on now. He will discuss his experience from the show, weight loss success and weight management tips, and his upcoming 5,000 mile bicycle trip benefiting the Children’s Home of Illinois. Check out his website: www.jerrylisenby.com. He his graciously donating his time and his only request is that the employees consider making a donation to the Children’s Home of Illinois (you can access from his website). How truly amazing is that? In just a few weeks I will get to meet Jerry! I am very excited, it is during our 2nd official weigh-in. I will keep you posted, I am sure pictures will follow!

Cough Safe!

2008-04-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

We had to watch this video at work today. We all were cracking up so hard that the presenter made us watch it a second time. If you wait until about the first minute in a guy is at a gym....this is where I about wet my pants. Hilarious, video and I was glad that finally a video with message that will make you laugh.

Home-sick!

2008-04-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

I do not like being sick! The older that I get the more I detested it. I find myself wanting to call home when I don't feel good. You would think at my age that I would suck it up. I wish that feeling of "homesick" would go away when I don't feel good, but it doesn't. I was sick over the weekend and went home from work yesterday and slept all afternoon! I called my professor and told him I would not be attending class, I really don't like being in class, especially the first night!
I went back to bed and finally broke down and called home. It really helped, I don't know what it is about talking to my Momma Kay, but she helps me feel better. I was able to talk to Lexi Lou and here is our conversation:
"You sick" Lexi Lou
"Yeah, I am sick" Me
"You go to the doctor?" Lexi Lou
"No, I am just going to take some medicine and go to bed" Me
"Oh, (long pause) you take medicine and go to bed" Lexi Lou
Not sure what it was about that little voice, but it made me smile. I think maybe that little girl prayed for me because I am doing so much better! It made my home sick, a little better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This morning I woke up LATE but I woke up feeling so much better. I was still a little tired but I didn't feel so horrible like I did for the past few days. I started taking this allergy pill my boss told me about, and WOW it works! I feel so much better. I was glad to go to work, I did forget however that I had an unofficial weigh-in today! YIKES, I totally forgot. I was excited and impressed with myself. Proud that my hard work and healthy eating was working! I was a little frustrated that I missed a few work-outs for being sick over the weekend. I am doing very well and my team is doing well, also! That is so encouraging! I know we can win, and I WILL BE THE BIGGEST LOSER!

Rabbit Wisdom

2008-03-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

Great Wisdom from the Velveteen Rabbit

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

Happy (belated) Birthday Alex!

2008-03-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

Alex,

Happy (belated) SWEET 16 AGGIE!! You have reached a large milestone, and you are now 16 years old! I really didn't think this day would come, well so soon! You are such a blessing in my life and I love how you are growing. It has been fun to watch you try new things, don't be afraid to keep trying! It has been so fun having you in our family. I love you, you are very special to me. I pray for you daily, as you continue to grow. Happy Birthday, I love you!

Biggest Loser

2008-03-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

I have been a fan of NBC Biggest Loser reality show for the last several years. I even went to an open cast call in Iowa. I was able to meet Matt Hover and that was very special. I also sent in a DVD and application, it was an amazing video, but I was not selected. Unfortunate for the fine folks at NBC, do they know what they are missing out on? (Ok, I am humble, I know, right?). I think the experience would have been truly amazing!

Well, I may not be on NBC but at work we are doing the Biggest Loser! It is open to all and I believe we have about 107 people!!! I am so excited, I am on a team of three. We named our team the 3Lucky Losers! Since we started during St. Pats day. I am doing extremely well. My eating habits have really changed in the last several months, so this was pretty easy. I go to the gym every day and walk. I now take the steps every time instead of the elevator. I have also been drinking a ton of water. I am very excited, and have made several suggestions to help the program. I have said that this is my year......I see the goal, now I just got to work towards it!

I will keep you updated along the journey. My goal is to win, I think the competitiveness that is in my blood is coming out.

2008 recap..

2008-03-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

April is just around the corner...where has this year gone? I haven't posted any thing since the first of the year....so a recap of a few exciting things in 2008, so far!

January

My family received two foster girls! They are sisters and are adorable I am officially in love. Ellexa came to live for a short while last year, she returned this year with a baby sister, baby Olivia (aka Baby O). I am unable to share pictures due to privacy, but they are ADORABLE.

February

ALEX turned 16years old. I was able to celebrate his big 16th b-day with my family. I had not been t o Iowa to see the new home my family purchased in the fall. Along with the excitement of Alex b-day, the new house, I also got to meet Ellexa "Lexi Lou" and Baby O!! While I was in Iowa, I went to the movies with Alex, Brody, Tyler down town...we went to see Veggie Tales, on Alex b-day. I most confess that I was so tired, I fell alseep during the movie. I was able to spend time with my family, hanging out. We also spent time with the Strackes, they are such an awesome family. I am glad my family has them! I did lots of picture taking of the girls and boys. I had a blast!!! We had a great time and I was suppose to leave on Monday but was snowed in!!! I stayed in Iowa until Wednesday!

March
My friend Mandy (co-worker) celebrated her 30th birthday! We went out to eat and then I threw a little party at work, it was fun! My good friend Heather is pregnant with her third baby, very exciting. Work has been interesting...well, lets just say I had a little "challenging situation" but I am grateful for the support of supervisors, co-workers, family and friends. Oh...and one more BIG thing...but you will have to wait!

First Love

2008-01-03T19:52:00.000-08:00

It seems like yesterday I was chasing a boy on the school play ground. I had a huge crush on a blond headed boy. His name was Chris Lang. Our mother's were in the hospital together when we born. We started pre-school together through the third grade. Like many guys in my life, I doubt he ever knew that I was "In Love" with him. As always, my girlfriends knew my burning "5 year old" desire for Chris. I changed schools in 4th grade......but, still no one I would love more than Chris. I hadn't thought about him in years......until this year.

Christmas Eve he shows up at my Christmas with my family! It was weird to hear his name, to see him. I forgot that he is friends with my cousin. It took me about two hours to talk to him...of course it was when he was leaving. We talked about where we lived, jobs, you know the "Adult Conversation Stuff" nothing major, deep, or asking him if he wanted to swing or color. Funny how God will allow peoples paths to cross again.

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that it is the year 2008!!! I mean where does the time go? I think it may have to do with getting older? I remember when I was younger. New Years Eve was such a big deal. Staying up all night at overnights was the normal in Jr. & HS. This year was not a big deal...but I must confess I had fun. I did stay up all night with my friends. It was snowing and at midnight we ran outside in the snow and lit sparklers.....it was fun. Our evening consisted of Guitar Hero 3 and scrap booking. We had a blast and ended up going to bed at 4:30am! Lots of laughter and that what makes a night!!

I sit here and think about 2008 and dream of what this year will hold, I believe that I am very optimistic for this year. I have to think the best is yet to come. I can't happen to think of last year. In a nutshell 2007 was the hardest years of my adult life. I learned so many lessons and through it all I learned that I am STRONGER that ever before. I am very grateful for it all...the good and hard times. I am grateful for this little gift of time that has catapulted so many friends who love and support me no matter what I do, say, or am. Today, New Years Day was a start of a new year. I hope that this road will be full of wisdom, love, happiness, prosperity, and peace.

A big congratulations to my MIZZOU Tigers who won today!!! They played Arkansas 38-7 in the Cotton Bowl!!!

An even bigger congratulations to my Uncle Gary who was married today. Welcome, Gale to our family!